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How ‘Slut Shaming’ Has Been Written Into School Dress Codes Across The Country

invisiblebee:

Last month, a New Jersey middle school banned girls from wearing strapless dresses to prom. Administrators claimed that the dresses were “distracting” — though they refused to specify exactly how or why. Parents reacted strongly to the rule; some supported the dress code while others deemed it “slut-shaming.” On Friday, the school compromised by allowing girls to wear single-strap or see-through-strap dresses.

This is no isolated incident in the United States. Across the country, young girls are being told what not to wear because it might be a “distraction” for boys, or because adults decide it makes them look “inappropriate.” At its core, every incident has a common thread: Putting the onus on young women to prevent from being ogled or objectified, instead of teaching those responsible to learn to respect a woman’s body. Here are five other recent examples:

1. A middle school in California banned tight pants. At the beginning of last month, a middle school in Northern California began telling girls to avoid wearing pants that are “too tight” because it “distracts the boys.” At a mandatory assembly for just the female students, the middle school girls were told that they’re no longer allowed to wear leggings or yoga pants. “We didn’t think it was fair how we have all these restrictions on our clothing while boys didn’t have to sit through [the assembly] at all,” one student told local press. Some parents also complained, leading the school’s assistant principal to record a voicemail explaining the new policy. “The guiding principle in all dress codes is that the manner in which students dress does not become a distraction in the learning environment,” the message said.

2. A high school principal in Minnesota emailed parents to ask them to cover up their daughters. A principal in Minnetonka, MN recently wrote an email telling parents to stop letting their daughters wear leggings or yoga pants to school. He says the tight-fitting pants are fine with longer shirts but, when worn with a shorter top, a girl’s “backside” can be “too closely defined.” The big risk of having a defined backside, he thinks, is that it can “be highly distracting for other students.”

3. Two girls in Ohio were turned away from their prom for being “improperly dressed.” Laneisha Williams and Nyasia Mitchell were barred from prom this spring for wearing dresses that administrators considered “too revealing.” The girls say that they didn’t believe they were violating a dress code that said dresses couldn’t be too short or show too much cleavage. But one administrator told local news that the high school girls were only allowed to wear dresses that had “no curvature of their breasts showing.”

4. A kindergarten student in Georgia was forced to change her “short” skirt because it was a “distraction to other students.” It’s hard to imagine that a kindergartener’s outfit could be “a distraction to other students,” but a mother in Georgia told locals news there that her daughter had been outfitted in someone else’s pants — without parental permission — after the principal deemed the skirt the young girl was wearing too short.” The girl had apparently wore the skirt, and accompanying leggings, just one week before without incident.

5. Forty high school girls were sent home from a winter dance in California after “degrading” clothing inspections “bordering on sexual harassment.” A school board member’s daughter was among the 40 girls turned away from Capistrano Valley High’s February dance for wearing dresses that either exposed their midriffs or were cut too low. Before the dance, girls were apparently required to flap their arms up and down and turn around for male administrators’ inspection. The school issues image guidelines for appropriate dress on its website — though the images were nearly all of women, and the only male image depicted proper attire. One girl alleges that the principal told her, “Not all dresses look good on certain body shapes.” A grandmother of one of the girls who was turned away from the dance also said that a teacher remarked about her granddaughter, “What mother would allow her daughter to wear a dress like that?” Apparently the school did receive some praise, though, from the parents of two male students.

When most Americans think about “rape culture,” they may think about the Steubenville boys’ defense arguing that an unconscious girl consented to her sexual assault because she “didn’t say no,” the school administrators who choose to protect their star athletes over those boys’ rape victims, or the bullying that led multiple victims of sexual assault to take their own lives. While those incidences of victim-blaming are certainly symptoms of a deeply-rooted rape culture in this country, they’re not the only examples of this dynamic at play. Rape culture is also evident in the attitudes that lead school administrators to treat young girls’ bodies as inherently “distracting” to the boys who simply can’t control themselves. That approach to gender roles simply encourages our youth to assume that sexual crimes must have something to do with women’s “suggestive” clothes or behavior, rather than teaching them that every individual is responsible for respecting others’ bodily autonomy.

(Source: ejacutastic)

Just out of curiosity…

Just because I’m genuinely curious, reblog if you sleep WITH the aid of a fan, and if you don’t mind sharing, your reason why? Is it for the breeze? The white noise? Something else? This isn’t some experiment or for some school project. I sleep with the aid of a fan, and I’m curious to learn where the majority lies.

If you sleep WITHOUT a fan, then the post you want is here.

Just out of curiosity…

Just because I’m genuinely curious, reblog if you sleep WITHOUT the aid of a fan, and if you don’t mind sharing, your reason why? Is it for the silence? Do you believe in fan death? Something else? This isn’t some experiment or for some school project. I sleep with the aid of a fan, and I’m simply curious to learn where the majority lies.

If you sleep WITH a fan, then the post you want is over here.

corrino:

The legendary Udumbara flower, described in Buddhist sutras, was spotted blooming in a La Puente, Calif., backyard by a Buddhist follower at the end of October. The tiny white blossom is said to appear only about every 3,000 years, heralding the appearance of a holy person on earth.

That’s a lace wing egg. They look like these: image

Which are laid by these:

image

and hatch into these: 

image

(these handsome little guys are called antlions by the way, and they’re bad asses in their own right)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zECnVZyYDI  and here’s a video that explains what’s going on.

if you still don’t believe me, Google image search both “Udumbara Flower” and “Lacewing Egg” and compare the pictures.

Here’s the thing. Men in our culture have been socialized to believe that their opinions on women’s appearance matter a lot. Not all men buy into this, of course, but many do. Some seem incapable of entertaining the notion that not everything women do with their appearance is for men to look at. This is why men’s response to women discussing stifling beauty norms is so often something like “But I actually like small boobs!” and “But I actually like my women on the heavier side, if you know what I mean!” They don’t realize that their individual opinion on women’s appearance doesn’t matter in this context, and that while it might be reassuring for some women to know that there are indeed men who find them fuckable, that’s not the point of the discussion.

Women, too, have been socialized to believe that the ultimate arbiters of their appearance are men, that anything they do with their appearance is or should be “for men.” That’s why women’s magazines trip over themselves to offer up advice on “what he wants to see you wearing” and “what men think of these current fashion trends” and “wow him with these new hairstyles.” While women can and do judge each other’s appearance harshly, many of us grew up being told by mothers, sisters, and female strangers that we’ll never “get a man” or “keep a man” unless we do X or lose some fat from Y, unless we moisturize//trim/shave/push up/hide/show/”flatter”/paint/dye/exfoliate/pierce/surgically alter this or that.

That’s also why when a woman wears revealing clothes, it’s okay, in our society, to assume that she’s “looking for attention” or that she’s a slut and wants to sleep with a bunch of guys. Because why else would a woman wear revealing clothes if not for the benefit of men and to communicate her sexual availability to them, right? It can’t possibly have anything to do with the fact that it’s hot out or it’s more comfortable or she likes how she looks in it or everything else is in the laundry or she wants to get a tan or maybe she likes women and wants attention from them, not from men?

The result of all this is that many men, even kind and well-meaning men, believe, however subconsciously, that women’s bodies are for them. They are for them to look at, for them to pass judgment on, for them to bless with a compliment if they deign to do so. They are not for women to enjoy, take pride in, love, accept, explore, show off, or hide as they please. They are for men and their pleasure.
Why You Shouldn’t Tell That Random Girl On The Street That She’s Hot » Brute Reason (via timididammae)

lyrangalia:

mazarin221b:

random-nexus:

icykitty:

soaringsparrows:

nataliesfantasticadventures:

I Promise I’m Not a Murderer: The Story of a Researching Writer

now with a sequel:

I Swear I’m Not Pregnant, I’m Just Naming Characters

Don’t forget: I’m not Trying to Break Into This Building, I Just Need to Know the Layout of it

The Sequel: I’m Really Not Poisoning Anyone, I Just Need To Know The Symptoms OF Poisoning And How Long They WOULD Take To Die From It.

Additionally: Please Don’t Put Me In A CIA Prison, I’m Just Trying To Figure Out How A Character Could Sneak Into Afghanistan From Pakistan While Avoiding the Border Police and the US Military.

The Prequel: Oh shit, I was already on a government watch list for Googling the blast radius of napalm and rocket specs within the same week, wasn’t I?

themcscumblr:

odditiesoflife:

The Fukang Meteorite

Back in the year 2000, an incredible meteorite weighing 2,211 pounds was discovered near Fukang, a city located in the northwestern region of Xinjiang, China. Named the Funkang meteorite, it was identified as a pallasite, a type of stony–iron meteorite. With 4.5 billion years in the making, its golden olivine mixed with silvery nickel-iron to create a stunningly beautiful mosaic effect.

Pallasites are extremely rare even among meteorites (only about 1% of all meteorites are this type) and Fukang has been hailed as one of the greatest meteorite discoveries of the 21st century.

It has since been divided into slices which give the effect of stained glass when the sun shines through them. It is so valuable that even tiny chunks sell in the region for $40 to $60 a gram. An anonymous collector holds the largest portion, which weighs 925 pounds.

Dat olivine

chainofaffection:

“Have you ever come across a homeless individual and felt totally uncomfortable?
You see them and you know they are in need, but you are not sure what to do. You know that handing them money is not the best thing. But, you also see that they clearly have some needs. Their lips are chapped. They are hungry. They are thirsty. They are asking for help.
How can you help?
Here is a simple idea - blessing bags.

This was such an easy project. We are now going to keep a few “Blessing Bags” in our car so that when we do happen to see someone on the streets who is homeless, we can hand them a Blessing Bag. I first learned of these bags from my friend, Julie. I am using the picture of her bags (see above) because the ones we took were taken in horrible lighting and turned out really grainy and hard to see what is inside of them.

If you’d like to make your own Blessing Bags, this is what you would need:
Gallon size Ziplock bags
items to go in the bags, such as:
chap stick
packages of tissues
toothbrush and toothpaste
comb
soap
trail mix
granola bars
crackers
pack of gum
band aids
mouthwash
coins (could be used to make a phone call, or purchase a food item)
hand wipes
you could also put in a warm pair of socks, and maybe a Starbucks gift card
Assemble all the items in the bags, and maybe throw in a note of encouragement. Seal the bags and stow in your car for a moment of providence.
This would be a great activity to do with some other families. Each family could bring one of the items going into the bags (ex: toothbrushes). Set up all the items around a table and walk around it with the ziplocks and fill the bags.”
IMPORTANT:

I am the original poster of the quoted post BUT I did not write what was written. Contrary to the person who wrote the blurb I posted (I have provided the link for her but I found this on pinterest and know that some of the people I worked with would appreciate this. Bags like these were offered at the drug rehabilitation center I worked at.

I agree that Giving money sometimes is an important and great way to help someone who is homeless. People who are homeless know in their particular circumstance what they need. I posted the article because sometimes others see someone who is homeless and we want to help, but are not sure how or they might feel uncomfortable giving money. Acknowledging this, these bags provide a good idea to begin.  

A comment I have been seeing on this post is: “THEYRE ALL JUST GONNA USE MONEY FOR ALCOHOL”

-NOT SO

More info:

Why do people become homeless? http://www.merceralliance.org/why_homeless.htm

“There are many reasons why people become homeless. These include loss of employment, divorce, long-term illness. Others include domestic violence, substance abuse, institutional discharge and many other factors that make it difficult, if not impossible, for people to pay rent or make mortgage payments.

Factors that contribute to homelessness include lack of affordable housing, lack of preventative services to keep people from losing their housing, and inadequate treatment programs for those suffering from substance abuse and mental illness.”

I leave you with a final quote that guides my actions:

If you have come here to help me, you are wasting our time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together. -Lilla Watson

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